We hope that you like these jokes as much as we did!
- Bird watching is an interesting hobby, and it’s funny to think that it’s even considered a hobby. “Hey Carl, what do you do for fun?” “I LOOK AT BIRDS.” “Oh, do you have them as pets, or do you train them?” “NO, I JUST GO OUTSIDE AND STARE FOR A WHILE. HOPE TO SEE SOMETHING.” So essentially, your hobby is just looking.
- Somehow bird watching has become an acceptable hobby. It must be because they’re beautiful animals that it’s OK. I don’t think ant watching would fly as a hobby - unless you were like six years old.
- You go outside. You get binoculars. You try to find a bird. Then you just stare at it. In most states, this is just called “being a peeping tom.”
- Bird watching is the absolutely laziest possible hobby a human being could choose. You do absolutely nothing except use one of your senses. What was the hobby selection process for these people? “Well, I definitely want to do nothing. But I want it to seem interesting. Let’s see. Could I smell things as a hobby? No. Hmmm. Could I touch stuff as a hobby. Nah. I’ve got it! I’ll use my eyes! I’ll look at stuff!”
- Bird watching is generally a rich person hobby, which is so great. Rich people don’t want to get caught up in actually doing anything with a wild bird, they simply want to observe it. “Ah, yes, I’d like to go look at something that is a wild animal, but also make sure that it’s thousands of feet away from me, so there’s no chance that it would actually try to touch me or make eye contact with me. That would be beneath me.”
- Bird watching, surprisingly is an expensive hobby - which makes almost no sense. I’ll save you a few thousand dollars. Ready? OK. Here’s how bird watching works. Go outside. Look up. Done. Free.
- The average age of a bird watcher is 53. Perfect. People choose a hobby based on seeing just about the same time their vision starts to fail.
- Who is the best bird watcher? Like who is the guy? “HAVE YOU SEEN ED - MAN, THAT GUY CAN WATCH!” Does he have groupies? Do women show up like, “Oh man, you should watch Ed, you can tell he’s really really on his game today, looking all over the place.”
- Can you be a poor bird watcher? I suppose the only way to fail at this hobby is by closing your eyes.
- The great part about bird watching is that you’re automatically going to be good at it. There is no possible way to not know where to look. Imagine though, that one poor guy who is terrible. Everybody is looking up, using their binoculars. This guy is digging in the sand. “I know they’ve got to be here somewhere, these birds!”
- The bragging that must go on in the inner circles of bird watching must be hilarious. “HEY CARL, HAVE YOU SEEN THE NORTH AMERICAN WHIP-POOR-WILL?” “No, I haven’t.” “OH, I HAVE SEEN IT. I’VE LOOKED RIGHT AT IT. WE BASICALLY MADE EYE CONTACT, NO BIG DEAL.” “I saw a bluejay yesterday though.” “OH, A BLUEJAY. GOOD FOR YOU - HEY, KEEP AT IT CARL, MAYBE ONE DAY YOU’LL SEE A SEAGULL TOO, YOU LOSER.”
- How could you possibly get any more tame than bird watching. It’s not hunting. It’s not fishing. It’s not even sport fishing where you throw the fish back. It’s looking. It would be the fishing equivalent of getting on a boat, looking overboard. “YUP, THERE’S A TROUT. LET’S GO HOME.”
- I found out there are videos online of people bird watching that have hundreds of thousands of views. This is a whole new level of lazy. “I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO WALK AND LOOK. HOW ABOUT I JUST FIND A VIDEO ONLINE OF SOMEONE ELSE WALKING AND LOOKING.”
- Are there lazy bird watchers? People who only look with one eye?
- When you think about it - isn’t everyone a bird watcher? This sport is so passive, literally every human being on earth at some point has participated...in watching a bird. It’s like calling breathing a hobby.